Twas an Advisor’s Night Before Christmas

With apologies to Clement Clark Moore…
 

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the House
New members pledged: “Our fiery debt, with tea we’ll douse.”
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that payroll tax cuts soon would be there;

Advisors were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of recovery danc'd in their heads,
And Obama in his 'kerchief, and Ben in his cap,
Had just settled Americans into Santa’s lap

With the sleigh full of debt—and Ben’s QE2
A bond market rout was clearly overdue
But what of equities, would returns be brisk?
With no place for income, even seniors would take risk

But stocks are volatile and dangers abound
Beware of Korea when our troops are tied down
And bin Laden, Chavez and Ahmadinejad
Now! Assange now! Castro and other nut jobs

And what of the euro? Monetary union is dissolving
And consumers with credit card debt still revolving
And oil shocks, wars, natural disasters, disease
Any of these could stop Wall Street bankers’ fat fees

Yet as Americans celebrate the nativity
Let’s not forget our people’s creativity

Inventions, patents, Silicon Valley
A gusher of shale oil could spark a new rally
A cure for cancer, diabetes and other good news
Hollywood blockbusters, sitcoms by funny Jews

With my family, my home, my clients, my friends
I realized that this day I needn’t worry about trends
So to bed I returned but before I alight:
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
 

Looking for the original Clement Clark Moore poem? Try here.