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Life Health > Life Insurance

13 of the best life insurance quotes ever

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Kids sometimes say the darndest things, but so do adults, especially if they have a live microphone near their faces.

This group of writers, religious leaders, pundits, comedians, philosophers and celebrities shares words of wisdom (OK, or humor) that capture some very real consumer sentiments about the product our livelihood depends on. Without further ado, here are some quotes that you can use to entertain, inspire and perhaps even open your next presentation. (You’re welcome.)

Read, laugh, reflect and then let us know: What did we miss? Leave your own favorite life insurance quotes in the comments section below.


“Asking Europe to disarm is like asking a man in Chicago to give up his life insurance.”

 Will Rogers


“The insurance business is about promises and trust. It is about delivering to the customer in times of need and if this cannot be imbibed in a professional, neither him nor the industry will succeed.” 

 Tapan Singhel


“You don’t need miracles in the west. You have insurance.” 

 Brother Yun


“Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.” 

 Kim Hubbard


“You don’t need to pray to God any more when there are storms in the sky, but you do have to be insured.”

Bertolt Brecht


“You can’t put a value on a human life, but my wife’s life insurance company made a pretty fair offer.”

Unknown Author


“Whatever excuses you may have for not buying life insurance now will only sound ridiculous to your widow.”

Unknown Author

woody allen

“There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?”

 Woody Allen (Photo by Arthur Mola/Invision/AP)

john malkovich

“Some directors expect you to do everything; write, be a producer, psychiatrist. Some just want you to die in a tragic accident during the shooting so they can get the insurance.”

John Malkovich (Photo: John Malkovich attends “The Penguins of Madagascar” at Comic-Con International on Thursday, July 24, 2014, in San Diego. Photo by Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP)


“I like gold because it is a stabilizer; it is an insurance policy.”

Kevin O’Leary

cee lo green

“My insurance provider probably wouldn’t allow me to go into a mosh pit anymore. My brain is insured by Lloyd’s of London, you know what I’m saying?”

Cee Lo Green (Photo: Cee Lo Green performs at the NFL draft eve party presented by Verizon on Wednesday, May 7, 2014 in New York. Amy Sussman/AP Images for NFL)


“One of the worst and most disheartening data points that I came across when doing research for ‘The Wealth Cure’ was that African-Americans passed on the least amount of cross-generational wealth of any distinct group. We don’t save, we don’t take out life insurance policies, we don’t invest, and we don’t pass wealth on to successive generations.”

Hill Harper


“Just as we have the power to harm the ocean, we have the power to put in place policies and modify our own behavior in ways that would be an insurance policy for the future of the sea, for the creatures there, and for us, protecting special critical areas in the ocean.”

Sylvia Earle

See also:

7 more great accountant jokes

20 best sales quotes of all time

15 best insurance quotes of all time


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