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Welcome to Fantasy Island

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If you were a fan of the 1978 TV series “Fantasy Island,” I apologize in advance. I have decided to recast it for the 2009-2010 season. Playing the role of the host – let’s call her “Miss Roark” – is Nancy Pelosi. The role of her sidekick “Tattoo” will be played by Harry Reid. The premise of the show hasn’t changed. Eager visitors pay dearly for a visit to the very private island – we’ll call it “Washington.” They arrive believing that their fantasy will be fulfilled.

In our season premiere, the guests wish is to assume permanent and unilateral control of 1/6th of the U.S. economy. Just as in the original series, somewhere along the impossible plot line the fantasy goes awry and becomes a morality lesson. Our writers will have plenty of material for this episode. The guests will learn that greed, subterfuge and misdirection along with misuse of the public trust are always punished. They’ll see their audacious goal begin to slip through their fingers. Will they change their ways and learn their lesson as in the original series?

Not this time. This time they will be sent home on a large blue raft with a couple of paddles. Just as in the series, they’ll hear Tattoo yelling “Zee plane, zee plane,” but he’ll be welcoming the next group of tourists arriving on a red private jet. Everyone that visits the island learns the lessons – some just learn them too late.