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A good midlife crisis will set you back about $240,000. That’s for the plastic surgery, a cool car and other purchases you’ll need to “reinvent” yourself.
“Midlife crises are very expensive when you make choices that you don’t think about,” observes Vivian Diller, a New York psychologist and co-author of “Face It: What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change.“
Diller says some men really do buy sports cars when they hit middle age, as they “associate that with being the sexy young guy who’s free of commitments. And when older women get cosmetic surgery or buy new outfits, they want to go back to their youth when they could (easily) attract men.”
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You’d better have plenty of money saved up for your midlife crisis, because a first-class one can cost big bucks. Below is your bill.
A tattoo: $150
“I have been tattooing for 32 years and have helped many midlifers rediscover their wild side” with a tattoo, says Mike Martin, president of the Alliance of Professional Tattooists.
He says male middle-aged clients often go for $150 to $250 baseball-sized tattoos, while women frequently favor flowers or other simple patterns that start at around $100. So, figure on spending around $150 for your “tat.”
Image: A tattoo on instep of actress Lily Collins is seen during Japan premiere of her movie ‘Love, Rosie’ in Tokyo, Wednesday, Dec. 3, 2014. (AP Photo/Shizuo Kambayashi)
Plastic surgery: $12,469
Oklahoma City plastic surgeon Anu Bajaj says plenty of people get cosmetic work done as part of a midlife crisis.
“I have a lot of women who come in around their 50th birthday and say, ‘This is my gift to myself,’” says Bajaj, who also serves as vice-chair of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons’ (ASPS) public-education committee.
The doctor says middle-aged women often want facelifts, browlifts and/or eyelid work, while men frequently go for Botox before graduating to facelifts and browlifts.
The ASPS estimates you’ll spend some $12,000 for such work — $6,556 on average for a facelift, $2,818 for eyelid surgery and $3,095 for a browlift. Botox costs about $380 and accomplishes the same thing as a browlift, but only lasts for four to six months.
Don’t expect your health insurance to pick up the tab, because health plans cover only medically necessary treatment, not cosmetic surgery except for things like breast-reconstruction surgery following a mastectomy.
A personal trainer: $6,240
You’ll want a nice bod to go along with your new wrinkle-free face, so you’ll have to hire a personal trainer.
The IDEA Health & Fitness Association, a trade group for gym professionals, estimates that the typical private trainer charges about $60 an hour.
Spokesperson Sandy Todd Webster says a fairly healthy middle-aged person needs around four sessions per week to shape up, for a $240 weekly cost. How many weeks of training you require depends on the individual, but six months at that price will run just over $6,000.
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A Corvette: $73,211 plus $1,974 for insurance
Nothing says “I’m middle-aged” more than driving a boring minivan, so you’ll want some sexy new wheels.
How about cherry-red Corvette Stingray Z51 convertible?