15. Custom-Made Gold Shoelaces: $19,000 If your recipient is already spending thousands on unique sneakers, you might want to provide unique shoelaces to go with them. They’re just $3,000 if you only go for silver, but it will surely impress the person you give them to.
14. Seven Harmonicas Signed By Bob Dylan: $25,000 Got a music enthusiast on your list? This set of seven German-made harmonicas—one in each key—comes in an ebony box, with each one signed by Dylan himself.
13. The Bat Mobile Golf Cart: $28,500 Your recipient will probably have to be a fan of the Dark Knight of Gotham City to truly appreciate this armored golf cart that will hit speeds of 38 MPH on its six tires. But before buying this, you might want to make sure he plays golf.
12. Vilebrequin Quadskis: $50,000 Um, come again? These are matching his-and-hers vehicles that can achieve speeds of 45 MPH (yes, faster than the Bat Mobile golf cart), take you to the action on both land and water and come with GoPro cameras to record every folly of their riders—as well as a trip to Florida for a personalized safety briefing.
11. The Self-Contained Hootenanny: $54,000 Picture it: 17 musical instruments in a box, automated to play some 15,000 different tunes, this little exercise in audio folly is “[p]layed by air-driven tubes, … guitar, bass synth, and various drums,” and takes all the effort out of making music. It’ll let you pretend you have a revenant of the ’60s folk movement in your home.
10. Leontine Linens Home Trousseau: $55,000 Yes, linens. Very expensive linens. Custom made and including everything from “ultra-luxurious” bed sheets, comforter covers, towels, shams and pillow covers to dinner napkins, this set is supposed to spoil you for any other sort of cloth item for your home.
9. Glass Pool Table: $73,000 Not only can you watch the action from any angle on this table, the see-through pockets might actually improve your game. And don’t worry about dropping the cue ball on it, it’s made of special shockproof glass that’s 0.60 inches thick.
8. 100th Anniversary Maserati: $95,000 We’re getting into real money here, with this 100th Anniversary Neiman Marcus Limited-Edition Maserati Ghibli S Q4. If you floor it, this car will go from zero to 60 mph in a neck-snapping 4.7 seconds.
7. Combination Jewelry Safe & Humidor: $155,000 For your favorite couple, the Connoisseur’s Vault will not only protect those precious Cubans, it will keep the casual thief from sneaking out with milady’s diamonds while protecting both from fire and water, too.
6. The Celebrity Robotic Avatar: $345,000 This, we are assured, is “Paulie’s human-mimicking robot from Rocky IV”—if for some reason you even remember the movie. This one does actually act like a robot, with remote-controlled actions that mimic human conversation, movements and even dance.
5. Dolce and Gabbana Sunglasses: $383,609 No, they’re not Tony Stark’s sunglasses that he willed to Spiderman, but they certainly must be in the same general price range. This pair of Dolce and Gabbana’s DG2027B shades goes for bling rather than bang for the buck, made of solid gold and studded with diamonds.
4. Personally Designed Paris Fragrance: $475,000 That special someone in your life would no doubt appreciate the House of Creed Bespoke Fragrance Journey, which includes a personal consultation with Master Perfumer Olivier Creed that requires a week in Paris—included in the cost.
The actual creation of the fragrance takes longer—months, even—but when it arrives it will do so in 24 14-karat gold-gilded six-liter flacons and 12 14-karat gold-accented leather atomizers. There’s basically enough fragrance to last your life time and pass it on to your heirs.
3. Gold-Plated Vacuum Cleaner: $999,999 The GoVacuum GV62711, the report assures us, “is a solid piece of cleaning machinery, featuring a high-performing 10 amp motor, a 14-inch cleaning nozzle, anti-marring wheels, and weighing a sleek 16 pounds.” That includes the gold plating, and by the way, it certainly is exclusive, with only 100 in existence. But if you can afford it, you wouldn’t be “enjoying” it, the cleaning lady would.
2. A Submarine Car: $2 million In case bridge traffic is backed up and you really need to get across the river, this car is also a submarine. The Submarine Sports Car is inspired by the Lotus in the James Bond movie, The Spy Who Loved Me, and equipped with Scuba tanks providing oxygen for an hour. It can dive up to 33 feet and drive for 80 miles on its batteries.
1. The 52-Carat Diamond Dog Collar: $3.2 million Hey, what could be better for man’s best friend? This Amour Amour collar contains 1,600 diamonds, the chief one of which is a 7-carat center stone, and is made of black alligator leather. Forbes has characterized it as “the Bugatti of dog collars.”