How to insure Santa Claus

Editor’s note: This article first appeared on Insure.com and is reprinted here with their permission. Click here for the original post.

Santa Claus is the hardest-working holiday spirit in the world. He’s a manufacturing executive, professional shopper, sleigh driver, delivery person, list checker, and heads a customer service department for nearly 2 billion children. 

Each year at Insure.com, we use a pre-set list of tasks and match them to occupations from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and then calculate his total wages for the year. (See the full chart of tasks and wages on page 6.) This year, it looks like Santa is on pace with 2015 corporate wage increases and could expect a raise of 3.8 percent or $3,130, bringing his annual wage to $143,054.  

That jolly old Saint Nicholas sure has a lot on his plate this time of year, and like a lot of us, we imagine he does not have visions of term life insurance policies dancing in his head. We decided to make sure that Santa is all set with his current information and life insurance policy before he gets into that open-air sleigh for a brisk ride around the globe.

Everyone, even Santa, should periodically take stock of their earnings and figure out how much life insurance is required to ensure a financial safety net for loved ones should anything happen. As every good agent knows, buying life insurance isn’t complicated if you purchase it at a young age, unlike Santa who waited. Your clients will get a much more affordable rate — in Santa’s case he could have saved more than $250,000 over the life of his policy.

’Tis the season to get Santa some insurance coverage

What our head insurance elf discovered made our bells jingle — not only did Santa not have any life insurance coverage in place, but he’s also one tough piece of holiday magic to insure! And though no one could actually replace Santa Claus, we want to make sure that should something ever happen to Father Christmas, Mrs. Claus would live comfortably as the beneficiary of his policy and be able to continue to run the family-owned and operated business they’ve built together.

In order to build out a policy quote for Mr. Kringle, Mrs. Claus used Insure.com’s life insurance calculator and found that a policy of $500,000 would help her cover expenses the first couple of years while she learns to take over the workshop.

Next, using some basic health information, we gathered quotes from companies that would provide Santa a 15-year term life insurance policy of $500,000. According to our records, Santa stands at 5’5’’ and weighs 220 pounds. And even though we know Santa is a bit older than our calculator will allow and living “off the grid” at the North Pole, we’ll estimate he’s 70 years old in human years living in Barrow, Alaska. With Santa’s profile information in place, we then examined his health and lifestyle.

Plus, he could get stuck inside a chimney!

The North Pole sees its fair share of carrots, apples and leafy greens, but it turns out the reindeer are pretty much the only ones enjoying a salad. Rumor ’round the pole is Santa is more of a “hot cocoa with whipped cream and peppermint bark” kind of guy. Unfortunately, Santa’s “bowl full of jelly” might be great for his famous laugh, but it’s a pretty detrimental influence in his term life policy. Obesity is a big factor in a number of health problems, including heart disease and stroke, making Santa a high-risk customer. We also know that Santa indulges in pipe smoking, so we included tobacco use on his quote, which is a large influence is his policy rates due to the increased risk of oral cancers and several respiratory diseases.

Rooftops can be hazardous to your health

Occupation also plays a big role in determining a life insurance policy quote. Insurers are taking on a greater risk if you’re a skydiving instructor or a large animal trainer. So, it’s no surprise that, though he wears many hats, Santa’s job of zipping around the world in one night, balancing on rooftops, and shimmying down chimneys raises some red flags. 

Would a lifestyle makeover help his premiums?

Comparing his rates with that of some of his workshop elves, we found some substantial differences in rates. A healthy, active, 30-year-old female elf employed as an engineer in the workshop is paying an average of just $306 a year for the same amount of coverage as Santa. The workshop’s master carpenter, a 50-year old male elf, who doesn’t exercise as much as he should but is otherwise healthy, is paying an average of $1,187 a year. If Santa is looking for a 15-year term life insurance policy worth $500,000, he’s going to be looking at an annual premium price tag of $22,906. Ouch!