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Ask for What You Want

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How often have you longed for something that seemed out of your reach? Did you take steps to obtain the object of your desire? Did you ask for it to come to you?

According to professional consultant and speaker Jim Charette, many people take a passive approach to what they want rather than the active one of asking for it. In his new book “The Answer is Yes But First You Have to Ask: How the Simple Art of Asking Can Totally Improve Your Life,” Charette shows how asking for what you want dramatically improves your chances of obtaining it.

“We can overcome the obstacles that prevent us from creating opportunities simply by asking,” says Charette. “We can also explore and improve relationships in all areas of our lives, professionally as well as personally, through better communication.”

This guidebook to asking highlights how asking for feedback, for example, can create an opportunity for improvement, which can ultimately lead you to your goal. Your expectations can play a major role, too: When asking for someone for something, don’t assume he or she will offer a negative response. And if you do receive a negative response, consider it the beginning of a negotiation process. Ask what it would take to arrive at a yes.

When you ask for feedback or are engaged in negotiation, listen intently to the answers. Questions serve little purpose if you do not truly hear the answers. Once you receive the knowledge contained within the answers, take action on that knowledge. Solve the problems presented by the answers so that you can circumvent them.

“Many people go through their lives without realizing that they are not asking,” says Charette. “Maybe they’ve asked for a few things now and then, but they have never experienced the full power of effective asking.” So be proactive about obtaining what you want: Stop waiting and start asking.

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