Lessons From a Too-Parsimonious Parent

“This was particularly evident when we went shopping. By the time I was 11 or 12 it was painfully obvious that not everyone shopped like my mother and I did. Sometimes I’d come along when my friends’ mothers took them to buy clothes. Usually these mother-daughter dyads negotiated this rite of passage respectfully, if not altogether joyfully.

“In our case, the climate between us became icy within minutes of entering the store, as my mom rejected one garment after another. One criterion surpassed all others in importance: the price. This became the axis around which complicated battles were waged. I felt selfish and spoiled for wanting nice clothes, and resentful for being begrudged.

“It wasn’t until many years later that I realized I wasn’t spoiled because I wanted, nor selfish if I bought beautiful, even expensive clothes sometimes. All of this sturm und drang formed the basis for my abiding interest in the psychology of shopping. When my mother accused me of being an overshopper, little did she know that it would lead me to help others overcome compulsive shopping.”