10 Do’s and Don’ts for Fine Dining With Potential Clients

2. Timing

Do: Always be on time. Cocktail parties and open houses take place over a long time period. Guests come and go constantly. Dinner parties and dinners in restaurants work on a time schedule for the host’s food preparation or the time of your restaurant reservation.

Don’t: Be the first to leave. You’ve heard the expression, “Don’t eat and run.” At dinner parties, most guests tend to leave together. Wait until dessert and coffee have been served before excusing yourself from the table. “I have an early meeting tomorrow” is a good excuse.

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3. Restaurant Tables

Do: Arrive early and make your requests. The restaurants you or your friends choose will be popular. People are waiting for tables hoping there is a cancellation. Arrive early (or on time) and let the person at the reception station know you are waiting for your party. If you will be talking business, you might mention you want a table in a quiet location.

Don’t: Challenge the server over the table location. Your server or the owner is walking you to your table. They make judgements based on areas served by different waiters’ service levels. Do not look at your table location and say, “this will not do” or, “can we have that table instead?” (You will sound like a prima donna.)

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4. Seeing People You Know

Do: Keep your focus on your tablemates. Some of the restaurants you will visit are “See and be seen” places. You will recognize people. You can smile as you pass their table. You can send over a round of drinks (at your own cost.) Sit with the guests at your table and focus on them.

Don’t: Table hop. You have seen this on reality TV shows. One diner at the table floats around the room spending time with everyone they know. They want to convey they are important. It comes across as rude.

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5. Seat Selection

Do: Be gracious in asking where people would like to sit. You are a party of six or eight people. Ask those standing closest to you if they have a preference in seating. Pull the chair out for ladies. If you don’t, the server will instead. It’s part of restaurant courtesy. Seating generally alternates men and women.

Don’t: Be the first to grab a seat. Also, do not quote movies about organized crime and insist on sitting with your back to the wall.

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6. Ordering Food

Do: Take the lead from your tablemates. Do not be the first to order. Read the table; if everyone starts with an appetizer or salad, you do the same. Choose medium-priced dishes or ones priced in line with other diner’s selections. If everyone sticks to entrees only, you follow suit. If you aren’t that hungry, it’s OK for you and your spouse to split an appetizer.

Don’t: Order the most expensive item on the menu. It’s likely the bill will be split evenly, or everyone will throw cash into the center of the table. If you order the lobster or the Tomahawk steak, the other diners may think you are taking advantage of the situation. This is a time when dollar cost-averaging does not work.

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7. Table Manners

Do: Be polite and use common sense. Unfold your napkin and place it on your lap shortly before food is presented. If the table is set with multiple knives and forks, work from the outside in. In fine restaurants, expect the soiled cutlery will be carried away with the finished plate. If anything is to be passed (like the breadbasket), offer left and pass to the right. When you are finished eating, the knife and fork are placed parallel on your plate. Think of the plate like the face of a clock. Your utensils point towards 12:00 from the 4:00 or 6:00 o’clock positions.

Don’t: Reach for or throw things. If the breadbasket is out of reach, ask if someone can pass it to you. If someone wants a roll and the breadbasket is in front of you, do not throw the roll across the table.

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8. Drinking

Do: Go with the flow. If everyone starts with cocktails, you have one too. If you do not drink alcohol, there are other options available. Do not order a second drink if everyone else is sticking to one.

Don’t: Attempt to show off how much you know about wine. If people know you are wine fans, they will be glad to defer to you concerning wine selection. Align your selections — red with meat, white with fish. If necessary, order half bottles.

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9. When to Start Eating

Do: Wait. You are seated at a table with multiple diners. It is considered polite to wait until everyone has received their meal before you start to eat yours. In a private home, you wait until your host starts to eat before starting on your entrée.

Don’t: Wolf down your food. If you are the first to clean your plate, someone might jokingly wonder if you are ever fed at home. Eating quickly historically implied there was competition for food, and you needed to grab everything you could as fast as possible.

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10. Paying the Bill

Do: Be ready to pay your share. Friends dining out typically split the bill evenly. When the check arrives, each person usually places their credit card in the leatherette folio containing the bill. If there is a large group, sometimes one person does the math and says: “It will be $50 apiece.” Everyone pulls out cash.

Don’t: Ask for separate checks. Splitting the bill is commonplace. Running a separate tab for each diner is not, unless this has been specified to the server at the start of the meal. Asking for separate checks implies you do not want to pay for the other guy’s lobster or Tomahawk steak (even if it was rude of him to order it).

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