12 Ways to Act Wealthy

1. Dress well.

I once heard a fashion industry speaker say: “Always dress as if you are going to run into your high school rival.” Even when running errands, you never know who you will see. You are projecting an image.

Example: When visiting Tiffany’s the second time, I wore a blue double-breasted blazer and white shirt, along with a patterned yellow silk tie and pocket square. A car stopped in traffic on West 55th Street and the passenger shouted: “You look great!” Upon leaving the store, one of the door staff said: “That is a great look.”

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2. Hold elevator doors.

This counts for other doors as well. The logic goes back to the time when elevators were a new concept and might have been considered unsafe by some. A gentleman enters first and holds the door while others enter. You hold the door until others leave. If the elevator is crowded, you step out to let others exit and then back in.

Example: We recently did this at Ikea, which is quite a different venue. The other people on the elevator were a couple with a baby stroller, and they thanked us afterward.

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3. Treat service staff as equals.

Insecure people often think that talking down to others elevates their social status. Well-bred people realize that they know nothing about the other person’s situation.

Example: When we fly internationally, we try to engage with the flight crew in coach. We bring them chocolate truffles from our town. Good things happen more often than not.

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4. Wait until the host orders.

You will have dinner with high-net-worth individuals in social situations and might be included as a guest at their table. Do not order until the host sets the pace. The host might start with appetizers or might not.

Example: When friends take us to their country club, the server will usually start with the spouse’s order. If they do not order an appetizer, neither do I. If I did, everyone would be waiting for me to finish my salad or oysters before they were served their main course.

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5. Stay within the host’s price range.

When the menu is spectacular, it can be tempting to “push the boat out.” After Tiffany’s, we all went to lunch — and invited our salesperson to join us. It was a French bistro with a three-course menu at $42. On the regular menu, the Dover sole was $70! I mentioned that the restaurant had a great prix fixe menu, and that’s what almost everyone ordered.

Example: Back to the country club example, I often gesture toward our host and say: “I will have what he is having.”

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6. Wait until everyone has been served before starting your meal.

This is useful when dining at someone’s home. The general rule is to wait until the host has been served, unless the host says otherwise.

Example: If the host is planning to say grace or offer a toast, you will notice that everyone is waiting for the leader to set the pace.

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7. Wait until the other person finishes speaking.

When meeting people in social situations, you might have a thought you want to add to the conversation. Although people in political debates might try talking over each other, in polite society you wait until the other person has made a point.

Example: This happens often, especially on video calls. I think that people have finished speaking, but they have not. I have learned to wait that extra second or two. I make a mental note of the points I would have added while they were speaking and make them afterward.

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8. Introduce your guests.

When you are attending an event with other people in your party, someone might come up to welcome you or start a conversation. Do not engage with the person immediately but introduce your guests by name and one or two details about them.

Example: This can be a golden moment when you are the financial advisor and the person bringing you along introduces you in that role.

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9. Make conversation with the person on your left and right.

At a dinner party, a lot of thought goes into who sits where. It is polite to engage those nearest to you in conversation. Do not turn your back to someone so you can talk with someone farther away.

Example: Everyone has the potential to be the most interesting person in the room, if you get them talking about their passion. Can you discover it?

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10. Offer to help with the bill.

When dining out, it is accepted practice for everyone to pay a share. Credit cards are tossed into the center of the table. If there are only four of you, suggest splitting the bill. If they insist on paying the bill, offer to leave the tip.

Example: The exception to this rule is dining in a private club. Everything goes into members’ accounts. Let them know that the next dinner is on you.

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11. When you get a charity event invitation, send a check.

Your high-net-worth friends will invite you to charity galas and fundraisers. They sit on the board or serve on the organizing committee.

Example: It is polite to buy one or two seats. If you cannot attend because of a schedule conflict or the cost is too high, send a check as a contribution. The accepted rule is if you are sent an invite and support the event, the organizers should return the favor by supporting your event.

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12. Do not be the last person to leave the party.

Dinner parties often have a point when people indicate that they need to go and most others get the same idea. Sometimes one person does not take the hint and sits at the table while you are cleaning up.

Example: Do not leave before dessert is over. That is eating and running, which is another issue. Do not be the first person to leave. Once someone else stands up, you can join the crowd.

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I did not have breakfast at Tiffany’s recently. But, I did make back-to-back visits to the famous New York City jewelry store, at Fifth Avenue and 57th Street.

The way I was treated reminded me why manners matter and how people make judgments about you.

Certain behaviors deliver an unspoken message: You are well-versed in politeness.

Here are a dozen ways to ensure you are sending the right message to prospective and existing clients, as well as colleagues, friends and family members.

You may even impress them!

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Certain behaviors deliver an unspoken message to clients and prospects: You are well-versed in politeness.