Apparently the old saying “Laughter is the best medicine” has a lot of truth to it. When we laugh, our body releases stress and breathes in a bit of peace. But what makes a great joke? What kind of power is unleashed when your audience laughs?
According to some of our sources, it is. One blog that suggests using jokes to close more sales is The Senators Club, a social club for sales professionals and entrepreneurs. Ian Adams, the blog’s founder, recommends that joke-tellers use the same approach that professional comedians use: know your material without hesitation, talk as if you’re telling a short story and avoid laughing before or while telling the joke. He goes on to suggest nine short jokes to close that deal.
A few of his jokes are included here, alongside others that our research turned up. Do you have any go-to jokes that you tell your clients to help them feel at ease? Do you think some of the jokes here are lame (and, if so, do you have better ones)? Prove it! Leave them in the comments below.
1. Overworked office manager
Salesman: “This computer will cut your workload by 50 percent.”
Office manager: “That’s great! I’ll take two of them.”
2. Good news, bad news
A salesman comes home after a hard day’s work and is greeted by his wife at the front door.
She tells him she has good news and bad news about their new car.
The salesman says: “OK, honey — so give me the good news.”
His wife replies: “The good news is, the air bags work!”
(From Sales Jokes App)
3. Seeing is believing?
“No, no, no!” said the enraged businessman to the persistent salesman. “I cannot see you today!”
“That’s fine,” said the salesman, “I’m selling spectacles.”
4. The Texas salesman
A keen Texas lad applied for a salesman’s job at a city department store. The store was the biggest in the world and sold everything under the sun.
At the interview, the boss took an immediate liking to the lad and told him he could start the next day. “I’ll come and see how you made out after we close up,” the boss said.
The day was long and hard for the young man, but finally it was 5 o’clock. The boss closed up the store and found the lad sitting, slumped and exhausted, in a chair. “How many sales did you make today?” the boss asked.
“One,” said the lad.
“One?” said the boss, obviously displeased. “Most of the salespeople on my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?”
“Exactly $101,334.53,” said the young man.
“How did you manage that?” asked the boss, flabbergasted.
“Well,” said the lad, “this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one, and huge one. I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said he was going down the coast. I said he’d probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that fancy 22-foot Chris Craft with twin engines. Then he said his Honda Civic probably wouldn’t be able to handle the load, so I took him to the vehicle department and sold him a new GMC 1-ton pickup truck.”
“You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?” the boss asked in astonishment.
“He didn’t come in to buy a fish hook,” the Texas boy explained. “He came in to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said to him, ‘Your weekend’s shot. You might as well go fishing.’”
5. Need a toothbrush?
The top toothbrush salesman at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes. He replied, “It’s easy” and he pulled out his card table, setting his display of brushes on top.
He told his boss: “I lay the brushes out like this, and then I put out some potato chips and dip to draw in the customers.”
He laid out his chips and dip. His boss said, “That’s a very innovative approach,” and took one of the chips, dipped it, and stuck it in his mouth.
“Yuck, this tastes terrible!” his boss yelled.
The salesman replied: “IT IS! Want to buy a toothbrush?”
6. It’s all in the approach
A young salesperson peeped into the office of someone who looked like a sales manager, muttered something then started walking away. After retreating a little he seemed to change his mind, seemed to head back to the door, where after some hesitation, he started to back away again. The sales manager, feeling sorry for the young man, and surprised that he was so badly trained, called him in.
“You’re a salesman aren’t you? What are you selling?”
“Sir … uh … yes … I’m a salesman. I’m sorry to bother you. I was selling insurance, but I’m sure you don’t want any. Sorry to have wasted your time.”
Feeling sorry for the young bungler, the sales manager bought two policies to give the young salesman some confidence and then started teaching him about selling. He said: “You should have different pre-planned approaches for different kinds of–”
“But I do, sir,” the young salesman interrupted, “the one I just used is my planned approach for sales managers. It always works. Thank you!”
7. Underperformer contest
A sales manager was addressing an underperforming sales force at the start of a new month:
“We are going to have a sales contest this month. The winners will get to enter next month’s contest.”
8. Genie grants another wish …
A salesman walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared.
“I will grant you three wishes,” announced the genie. “But since Satan still hates me, for every wish you make, your rival gets the wish as well — only double.”
The salesman thought about this for a while.
“For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars,” he announced.
Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10,000,000 had been deposited.
“But your rival has just received $20,000,000,” the genie said.
“I’ve always wanted a Ferrari,” the salesman said. Instantly a Ferrari appeared.
“But your rival has just received two Ferraris,” the genie said. “And what is your last wish?”
“Well,” said the salesman, “I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney for transplant.”
9. All I ask the Lord …
All I ask the Lord is for the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy.
(From Sales Jokes App)
10. Pocket calculator
Salesman: “Would you like to buy a pocket calculator?”
Customer: “No, thanks. I know how many pockets I have.”
(From Salesmen jokes)
11. The simple salesman
A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. Coincidentally, while checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new Bibles. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the Bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the money the church desperately needed.
Peter, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The reverend knew that Peter and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some Bibles, but he had serious doubts about Louie. Louie was just a little local farmer, who had always tended to keep to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor little Louis stuttered very badly.
But, not wanting to discourage poor Louis, the reverend decided to let him try anyway. He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with Bibles and asked them to report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday, which they did.
Eager to find out how successful they were, the reverend immediately asked each of them how they made out selling the Bibles.
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Peter replied, “Father, using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 Bibles, and here’s the $200 I collected on behalf of the church.”
Paul, smiling said, “Reverend, I am a professional salesman and was happy to give the church the benefit of my sales expertise. Last week, I sold 28 Bibles on behalf of the church, and here’s $280 I collected.”
Louie silently offered the reverend a large envelope. The reverend opened it and counted the contents.