How to be a complete failure at sales

Being bad at prospecting and selling sometimes seems at least as difficult as being good at it. It actually takes a lot of work to be a sales agent and yet be bad at sales. Think about it. You have to be bad at so many things so consistently: time management, prospecting, product knowledge, business etiquette, customer service, follow-up, relationship building, organization. That’s a lot of bad habits you’ve got to form.

Hey, some agents just have a knack for being bad at sales. They just make it look so easy. If you are looking to join their ranks, use these quick tips to get on the fast track to nowhere.

Leave your business cards at home. If you do use business cards, be sure they are dog-eared and dirty. But really, why do you even need them? You might as well leave your cards in your office, home or car. If anyone is really interested in contacting you, let them take the initiative. They can always Google you.

Don’t send thank-you notes. No one does that anymore, so why be old-fashioned? Plus, buying stationery is a pain and writing notes with a pen is a drag. If you really must thank somebody, just send ‘em an email and be done with it.

Talk to your clients only when you want something. Why else would you talk to them? Do not keeps tabs on your clients as they experience changes in job, business, marital status, health, income level, family, and lifestyle. You can be sure they will confide in another agent who will relieve you of their business. Let someone else be the hero.

Avoid calling prospects. Why call people that don’t want to be called to talk about stuff they don’t want to buy? They’ll just insult you, right? If you have to do it, put it off for another day when at all possible. So what if some agents are successful at cold calling? Chalk it up to luck; there’s certainly nothing systematic about it. It’s not like they have some magical script that gets them on the prospect’s good side.

Don’t develop a plan. As we all know, life’s more fun when you fly by the seat of your pants. Taking the time to make a to-do list or to follow a set routine gets boring. Writing business plans? Marketing plans? What a waste of time! There are things that are a lot more fun that you can be doing.  Enjoy the moment!

Get in the habit of not returning phone calls. All these callers can drive you nuts. And it’s not like having a client service system is going to double your revenue, right? If it’s all that important, they’ll call back. What’s great about this technique is eventually people will stop calling and the problem will pretty much resolve itself.

Don’t ask for referrals. Referrals may well be one of the best ways to get more clients, but isn’t it scary to put yourself on the line like that? It’ll seem like you’re begging. And you don’t want to bother your clients. If they like you just trust that they’ll refer others without your involvement.