FA Fear Factor

While glancing through a financial magazine, I came across an article discussing some of the top “worries or fears” of financial advisors. The magazine asked financial advisors what it is they worry most about their industry. Some 300 advisors responded to this poll.

As I looked at some of the worries, the lack of originality stood out: eroding public confidence, tax law changes, political irresponsibility, FINRA and on and on. Yawn.

Really? That’s what financial advisors fear the most? Granted, they might be concerned, but actually worried or afraid? C’mon, let’s be real. I know what financial advisor fear really is.

In fact, I’m pitching CNBC on a new financial advisor reality program called Financial Advisor Fear Factor. My show is a cross between Fear Factor and the game “Truth or Dare.”

My ideal host is the original Money Honey herself, Maria Bartiromo. Cue the announcer please: “Let’s play FA Fear Factor [audience cheering]!”

Our host casually flips her hair back, looks directly into the camera, licks her lips and says, “Let’s meet our contestant.”

The announcer introduces our first contestant as Biff, a successful wirehouse advisor from Greenwich, Conn. Biff attended Harvard and nothing that comes out of him stinks.

Our second contestant is Matt. Matt works for a folksy little firm in Cuba, Ill. He went to work there mainly because it was the only broker-dealer that would take him. Matt was a Phi Beta Kappa graduate of the Midway Tap School of Bartending.

“For our first challenge,” Maria says, “you have the choice of laying in a box of worms while being tasered. Or, you can explain to one of your top clients how it’s in his best interest to pay you an 8% commission for a variable annuity. What’ll it be boys?”

Biff smugly states, “I don’t sell variable annuities.”