4 ‘Absolutes’ for Successfully Connecting With Clients

1) Listen curiously—The average attention span in the United States is 17 seconds, Kuzmeski said. If advisors want to separate themselves from the competition, they need to “learn how to listen.” “It’s about them, not you. At first, this is a little uncomfortable for clients, because they’re not used to it and there’s no ‘out’ for them. But that is incredibly good for the advisor’s business. You have to go from ‘know’ to ‘trust’ to ‘like,’ and ‘listening for the remarkable’ is the way to do it.”

‘Listening for the remarkable’ is akin to speed reading, she noted. It’s impossible to listen to every single word. So it’s better for advisors to train themselves to listen for something unique.

“People will give up what’s important to them in the course of a conversation. Listen for it.”

2) Seek the remarkable—If you’re type A (like many advisors), ask big questions, Kuzmeski said.

“Many people will lie to you, which is okay. If I tell you the truth, often I’m socially unacceptable. For instance, if you ask me how I am and I say, ‘Fine” I might really mean, ‘My knees hurt, my dog died and I have a cold.”

Rather than, “How’s your health?” advisors should instead ask, “What’s your biggest health concern?” In this way, she said, prospects can’t lie to advisors.

“This is one of the reasons why introverts are better at connecting than extroverts,” she said. “Introverts don’t talk, they listen.”

3) Contrarian Networking—“Who here likes networking?” she asked attendees. After only three people raised their hands she continued, “If you knew networking worked, would you like it better?”

“If someone asks you what you do for a living and you tell them you’re a financial advisor, will they like you more or less?” Kuzmeski said. “Probably less, because financial advisors are lumped in with insurance agents and people think you will try to sell them something, but the whole point of networking is to have them like you more, not less.”

At networking events, successful individuals “look for the best connector in the room, and then connect with them, rather than looking for the person to whom they can sell the most. You either gather leads or develop advocates. The latter is better.”

4) Be memorable—“As women, we feel we need to compete and be better than men because women are really just coming of age as a whole in this business,” she concluded. “But you must bring yourself to the office and client meetings. What is it that makes you unique, and how do exploit your uniqueness? It’s not just about being better, it’s about being different.”