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May 05, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Everything we want to achieve in life involves relationships of some sort, but not all relationships are equally valuable when we are striving toward our goals. Here are some tips for navigating the relationship seas.
Drop the anchors. Achieving goals and greater levels of success requires energy, sometimes an enormous amount. Negative people are like psychic vampires: They drain us of the precious energy we need to grow and achieve. Until we reach the point in our self-development where we no longer allow negative people to affect us, it’s best to avoid these toxic people at all costs. They will hold us back with their victim mentality and mediocre standards.
To identify which relationships are draining you, make a list of all people you spend time with on a regular basis. Go through the list and put a minus sign (-) next to the people who are on the whole negative and toxic. Put a plus sign (+) next to the people who are positive and nurturing. Then simply stop spending time with the people on the negative list.
You may counter that it’s impossible to avoid negative people, for example, at work. In that case, spend only as much time as is absolutely necessary and avoid them when you can.
Identify your best investments. Another way relationships can drain our energy is when we feel overwhelmed by the number of relationships we have to maintain. The first thing to do is question the feeling of “have to.” Remember, we do not have to do anything; we choose to do it. And that includes determining which relationships we want to maintain. “Have to” indicates that our motivation to maintain the relationship is based on fear. But to create greater success, we want to make decisions that are motivated by joy and excitement.
Luckily, we are equipped with a handy inner guidance system that tells us when we are making decisions that are in alignment with our higher good and that is the feeling of joy. When we are not spending a lot of time feeling joyful, it is a clear sign that we are off course.
