A friend jokingly asked me where he could buy bottled charisma so he could be more successful in his sales. The good news is you don’t have to buy it. You just have to spend some wisdom to get it.
Recent neuroscience has proven that if you understand positive attractor behaviors, you’ll be so different from the average negatively-wired person out there, that people will be drawn to you. Simply put, you will draw more business to you and deepen your relationships.
Here are the four laws for attracting people and keeping them coming back to you:
1. What you celebrate tends to be more important for bonding a relationship than what you solve. Up until now it was believed that the best predictor of a successful relationship was the ability to deal with conflict and bad news. Recent research now shows that how we respond to and accentuate positive news is at least as good or a better predictor of relationship success. Listen for clients telling you good news and don’t brush it off as small talk. Celebrate it and ask questions about it.
2. Make people feel smart when they are with you. Where do we all go in life? We go where we get an A+. When people feel like they’re making the grade in your presence, they feel smarter and you are credited with the good feeling that comes with that. Sincerely compliment people as they unravel your complex financial algorithms.
3. Be more interested than interesting. This one bears repeating even though it seems clich?. It’s clich? for a reason, because it’s true. But time and again you’ll witness people trying to steal the spotlight because they want to show that they are at least as interesting or experienced than the other person. It never feels good to be topped when you’re telling your success story. So don’t do it to other people. Just listen and be curious.
4. Remember the small stuff. Simple as it sounds, it’s remembering a client’s grandchild’s graduation, birthday or anniversary or that they have an interest in collecting carved wooden ducks–it’s those things that make them sit up and say, “He knows me.” Who do you do business with? People you know and trust. Attraction is no joke. It’s also no accident. If you have a positive attitude, you’re probably more successful than your competitors. If you don’t, go out and get one.