If I were given the opportunity to be any kind of bird in the world, I would definitely want to be an ostrich. Why? Because I believe the best place for my head, given the current economy, is buried deep in the sand.
Every day I flip on CNBC and MSNBC to watch the latest business news. About 10 minutes into the news I find myself scratching my linoleum floor trying to dig a hole big enough to stick my head in. I can’t help but think back to my childhood way of avoiding bad news. Remember sticking your fingers in your ears and singing so loudly you couldn’t hear anyone? “La, la, la, la, la, la… I can’t hear you!” Childish, but effective.
The ostrich learned this lesson a long time ago. Apparently, it’s better to get bit in the behind by a lion than bit in the head. In today’s climate, watching television is worse than a good bite to the backside. If you don’t believe me, just ask Eliot Spitzer.
What exactly am I talking about? I’m talking about the plethora of dark and gloomy news that we are being bombarded with, of course. I’m not exactly sure what a sub-prime market is, but I do know it’s capable of totally screwing up our economy. Add a little speculation about a recession, record high oil prices, the falling housing market, the Duncan Yo-Yo-like stock market and the dollar at an all-time low and you have a climate made for an ostrich.
Perhaps it has something to do with karma or biorhythms because all these bad vibes are spilling over into our entertainment as well. While flipping through the channels last night I couldn’t help but think that Armageddon (not the Bruce Willis movie) is right around the corner.
In one night, while attempting to find some fluff to take my mind off my trouble, I learned all about super comets. Not the kind that make pretty streaks in the sky, but the kind that crash into the earth, vaporize our oceans and exterminate man. We’ve been hit before, so we can certainly be hit again. Ouch!