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December 31, 2006 at 07:00 PM
Previously, we stated that some 93 percent of what determines someone’s impact when communicating is largely unconscious. We noticed that deep rapport is created not by accident but by the application of certain skills. That deep rapport and intense commitment combined put you at the top of your game.
Let’s begin to apply some of the skills we have learned into a simple yet powerful process for creating deep rapport with everyone we meet. It starts with having a clear purpose underlying what you do for a living. That purpose will express itself in making direct eye contact with a person, being relaxed enough that you naturally tend to match the other person’s voice and energy levels, and flows into your handshake, which ideally also matches his in pressure, duration and style.
With this initial platform of connection, we will begin any interaction with a strong platform of unconscious rapport. After the initial connection, we all engage in a certain amount of small talk. This is one of the most important and most dangerous parts of the sales process. It is when you are in position to get the best and highest quality information. The other person does not yet feel that he is being sold, so he is much more apt to be at ease in sharing information.
Small talk also is the most dangerous part of the sales process because it is when you are most apt to be thinking of what to say or, even worse, trying to impress the person (which is really not very impressive).
The key to small talk is to do as little talking as possible. Think of a time you met someone and felt really connected to him. Did he do most of the talking, or did you? Odds are that if you examine it deeply, you did most of the talking, which is why you liked him so much. The key to building rapport is not talking, it’s listening, or even more appropriately, feeling understood.
