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January 02, 2014 at 07:33 AM
Traveling by air brings out the worst — and the best — in people. This became starkly obvious during a flight from New York to San Diego that my wife and I recently took.
While waiting in our seat, we witnessed a dispute. A young woman had just arrived from another gate. It seemed the airline’s representative had promised her a first-class upgrade, but for some reason, the seat went to another passenger. Now the woman, the rep and our flight attendant, whose name was Dianna, were arguing over who should get the seat. No one was giving in.
The airline rep was aggresively trying to save face. The upgraded passenger was highly exasperated. And our flight attendant wanted to avoid a public dispute, while upholding policy and launching the plane on time.
Speak softly
The clash was mercifully brief. Our flight attendant got the belligerent rep to back down and the passenger to accept her original coach seat. How? By simply speaking softer. She also appealed to their common interest (getting the plane off the ground on time) by using the word “we” a lot. Plus, she applied a lighthearted sense of humor to build good will.
Fortunately, her calm professionalism won the day. The two parties felt they’d been heard and accepted her decision. The remaining passengers boarded without further incident, and we departed on time.
I tell this story because it illustrates how to react when your values or beliefs conflict with others. Human instinct is to “fight fire with fire.” But this only produces angry gridlock and kicks the problem “upstairs” where it can only get worse.
