How to cope with problem people (part 1)

How to cope: One of the hardest things to do with Bulldozers is realize that the problem is not with you but with them. They build self-worth by aligning themselves higher than the person they are talking to. But it is important to not let them run over you.

1. Show empathy and probe their points. It is easy to argue with them. But that would be defensive and only make them more combative as they try to save face.
2. Ask them questions about their past problems with the subject. Ask if they have had bad experiences with brokers selling annuities. Try to isolate their comments to their experiences, avoiding their ability to generalize. If you’re able to draw them into a conversation, it may diffuse an outburst into a constructive discussion.
3. Look them directly in the eye and respond assertively without emotion.

The Volcano
Human volcanoes erupt without provocation but seem most explosive under pressure. Like bulldozers, they are hostile-aggressive in nature but blow up out of control. Their mode of operation is to first blame a problem on someone else and then explode.

How to cope: As with Bulldozers, if you look the Volcano in the eye and show no weakness, you’ll be able to at least save yourself some grief. These people sometimes act like sharks going in for the kill if they smell weakness. This difficult behavior type may also be someone in your employ.

1. Let them talk until they run down, much like a windup toy loses its energy.
2. Tell them that you wish to hear what they’re upset about, but not in this way. On the telephone, say, “Hang on, I want to get a pen and paper to jot down some notes as you talk.”
3. Get as many facts as possible about their concerns. Focus on the tangible details as a way to deflect the emotion. Try to avoid letting them tell you how they feel as this will feed a long-term rant.