For a deeper understanding of how to move past lapses in progress toward a better self, I recommend these excellent books.

On forgiveness: Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha (Bantam, 2004), by clinical psychologist and mindfulness meditation teacher Tara Brach, Ph.D, includes guided meditations and exercises to cultivate forgiveness for self and others.

On compassionate communication: Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life (Puddledancer Press, 2003), by Marshall Rosenberg, will help you explore your own feelings and needs and communicate them constructively, without blame or recrimination.

On the process of change: Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward (Harper Paperbacks, 1995), by James Prochaska, John Norcross, and Carlo DiClemente, all Ph.Ds, notes that backsliding is common and often requires recommitting to the action plan.