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Determining your own sense of balance

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In the role of agent or advisor, we find ourselves in a challenging position. There are high demands of time and energy that go with our line of work. We invest ourselves in supporting and nourishing others. Unfortunately, this can often lead to a lack of balance.

Clearly, the more we can balance our work, the easier it is to find the time and energy to implement all of the things that we know are important for our personal and financial well-being. At the same time, in sales the impact of our communication is greatly affected by our level of congruence. We are always sending out signals from two very different channels, our unconscious and our conscious minds. The more congruent we are, the more successful we are likely to be in communicating with others.

Ultimately, adults, just like children, do what they want to do, not what we say. You might think to yourself, “People don’t really know what I do.” You might be right, but the bad news is you know, and because you know, it affects your communication in subtle ways. If you think about it, a lie detector test is a sophisticated way of measuring the signals you are always sending out when you are not congruent.

How does a person know if he is balanced, and what can he do if he is not? A practical way to come to an answer is to once again introduce the concept of scale, which gives us a way to take seemingly hard to quantify aspects of life and allows us to gain perspective.

Ask yourself, “On a scale of one to 10, how balanced is my life?”

Whatever number comes up for you as a measure of the level of balance in your life, you can bet that it correlates with your level of unconscious and conscious alignment or congruence. It is this alignment which allows some people to achieve with ease and grace that which others achieve through long hours and much struggle.

Now let’s take it to another level. No matter what your score, ask yourself, “What is the single biggest thing I can do to jump my score?” This is the clarifying question that allows you to cut through the long list of great things you “could” do to balance your life. Instead you get clear about the one thing that you need to do that can make the biggest difference.

In the coaching sessions I lead, we then have people go the additional step and ask the question that makes the biggest difference: “Now that I know the one thing I most need to do to achieve balance, what consequence would I be willing to pay if I don’t get that done?” It’s at this point that many people begin to break out in a cold sweat.

The key is to choose a consequence that actually helps you to reach your goal. Next month I will share some of the best examples from some of my best “players” and their answers to these questions.