Winter of Our Discontent?

In fact, I would try to identify exactly what these appeals are. List them in writing, and then jot down your doubts and fears. Share both of these lists with three or four seasoned advisors, and see how this impacts your decision about becoming a planner.

I’ve heard that the Chinese character for crisis combines “danger” and “opportunity.” In volatile economic times, there’s a greater need for holistically oriented financial advisors who can help clients move toward emotional sustenance and self-respect as well as financial security. In other words, financial planning is more than money–and you may well become a wiser advisor for recognizing it at this early stage.

For several months now, I’ve only felt safe when I’m alone. I don’t feel comfortable with my family and friends, and I dread being with co-workers because they always seem to be judging me. Reading newspapers or watching headline TV makes me feel like running away and hiding. What’s happening to me, and what should I do about it? Like many others these days, you may be suffering from depression or a form of stress disorder in which you keep reliving past traumas and injuring yourself anew with each re-experience.

To restore balance, I would begin by focusing on activities that nurture your spirit when you are by yourself. Whatever makes you feel better, do more of it. At the same time, I think you should consider consulting a therapist or pastoral counselor. By talking about your thoughts and feelings, you may blow some fresh air into the closed system of memories or negative self-talk that hold you captive inside your own head.

If these avenues of hope and healing don’t seem to make a difference, you may need to ask your M.D. for medication. A combination of counseling and antidepressants has helped many people find their way back to a happier and more connected life.

After months of seeing me drag myself home, tired and discouraged, my wife has begun encouraging me to leave the planning profession. Her uncle has offered me a position as CFO of the family business. I doubt that this would be a good move for me, but I am getting tired of working with disappointed clients every day. Any ideas? I think you would be wise to review your dreams, goals, and skills with a career counselor before deciding whether or not to make such a major change.

As you may know, family businesses are notorious for complicated interpersonal dynamics based on old grudges, slights, and favors that date back years and years. So if you’re inclined to join the firm, first be sure your fresh thinking will be welcome.

While you’re sorting out your options, take time to savor the connections to family, friends, and community that help you feel nourished and supported. Talk to trusted colleagues about your dilemma. And reassure your wife that even if you decide not to accept her uncle’s offer, you will take steps to improve your life.

It’s getting harder and harder for me to stay positive these days. My income is way down, and my clients are calling all the time to talk endlessly about their problems. Meanwhile, my son didn’t get accepted at a college and is playing games with me about his so-called job and his life. Also, the days are so short that I feel I’m living in the dark most of the time. Is there anything I can do about all this? Let’s tackle the easiest part first. There’s a good chance you suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which afflicts many Northerners in the winter. If so, ask your alternative medicine practitioner or healthy foods store about lighting that mimics sunshine. Sufferers say it can magically transform their lives in a relatively short time.

In terms of your worklife, I’d recommend brainstorming with one or more of your colleagues about ways to generate more revenue. In fact, you might consider weekly meetings to tackle this challenge and assess your progress.

As for your home situation, have you talked to parents in similar situations to see if they can offer any guidance? You may also want to consult a family therapist. If your son is still living with you, you need to decide how you can best help him get launched into an independent life. For useful suggestions, I recommend any of Ron Taffel’s books about adolescents.

While you’re wrestling with these challenges, be sure to take time for yourself. Remember, it will be hard (if not impossible) to give your best to those around you if you have nothing left to give.

With February doldrums intensifying the stress of business losses, political and personal fears, and recent traumas, it’s crucial for advisors and clients to find time to recharge themselves. No matter how you choose to reconnect to sources of light in the midst of the dark, do whatever will help give you more emotional and spiritual “money in the bank.”

From this more centered place, you can contemplate the balance between your worklife and your personal life, and plan how to make changes that strengthen you. By helping your clients restore their own equilibrium, you will provide a resource that they will appreciate way beyond the advent of spring.