12 Ways to Own the Room at the Next Social Event

Everyone knows the power networker, or wants to know the power networker.

How can you become that person?

We recently returned from a transatlantic voyage. We like this type of vacation because the ship is your destination. You have plenty of time to meet people and get to know them.

Now, imagine the ship holds 2,000 passengers. Suppose during the course of a week you could meet 50 new people. Do the math.

To meet all 2,000 people, you would need to take that trip 40 times. It's physically impossible, yet there are some people who stand out, who are instantly recognizable.

How do you become that person, on a smaller scale, within your own community?

Here's the scenario: You're attending an event. It could be a wedding reception, a museum opening exhibition or a community picnic for your religious congregation. One hundred or more people will be attending.

How do you stand out and become memorable? How do you get people to want to know you at the next event?

Here are 12 steps to make that happen.

1. Research who is going to be attending.

You aren't researching 100 people, but you know who the top 10 or 20 that will be in the room. They might be the officers of the organization or local business owners. You might be connected to some on LinkedIn.

2. What are you going to talk about?

What is going on in those people's lives? Have they been mentioned in the news in a good way? Had their business opened another store or broken ground on a new housing development? Has their child won an award at school?

3. During the course of the event, chat with each one.

Some you know, others you don't. I am comfortable starting a conversation with "You don't know me…" This leads to the piece of information you researched, which is a compliment or congratulation. It is very difficult to be offended by a compliment. You chat, but you don't linger.

4. Reconnect with people you know.

Ideally you do not leave anyone off the list. You don't want to create the impression you only talk to important people. No one should feel slighted or ignored. You already know these people, so you have subjects to talk about.

5. Let each conversation flow naturally.

You're not rushing to get all those conversations done before the evening is over. Some might become deep conversations. In other situations, you realize that person is doing something else or has an issue on their mind. Everyone should feel like they are the most important person in the room and you have time for them.

6. Make introductions.

People will move around during the event. You might want to talk with them too. Certain shared interests will come to mind. You can proactively bring them into the conversation. You're treating everyone as equals.

7. It is fine to talk with strangers.

They might not be on your "mental important person list," but they might be standing alone or waiting for a drink at the bar. Start a conversation. When we are on a cruise vacation, we often find ourselves sitting next to another couple at mealtime or in a lounge. I will say, "I hope you don't mind me interrupting…" or something else that respects their privacy while also indicating I would be happy to talk.

8. Take notes while out of sight.

Your phone has the Notes app. I would disappear into the restroom for a moment and write down people's names and what I learned. I can never remember this otherwise.

9. Smile.

You want to be associated with positive energy. People should find it easier to start a conversation with a smiling person instead of a grumpy looking one. This way, people will come up to you.

10. Make it easy for others.

Wear a distinctive piece of jewelry, watch or lapel pin. Other people know how the game is played. This gives them the opportunity to approach you and start a conversation.

11. Carry business cards.

You want some system of sharing data. You can exchange contact information via your Smartphone, but not everyone knows how to do that. If the situation calls for exchanging contact details, I write our first names on the back of my business card, add our personal phone number (and often our e-mail address) and put one or two words like "talked about wine."

12. Read up on local news.

You have a newspaper that focuses on news of your town or neighborhood. Read it before the event. You want to know about local business news or local stories that make the front page. If someone mentions it, then it is important to them.

You're not pushy. You're not aggressively working the room. You radiate confidence. This is equated with success. You're gracious. You're becoming the person people want to know.

Bryce Sanders, president of Perceptive Business Solutions Inc., is the author of the book "Captivating the Wealthy Investor.”