Volunteer work at nonprofits is a great door opener. Supporting the charity by writing checks works too. You meet the wealthy on neutral ground, which often leads to dinners out or invitations to their home.
Dinner last Friday fit into this category. What lessons on high-net-worth networking did we put into practice?
The couple are nice and down to earth. They also have their own licensed helicopter landing pad on their property. This rarely comes up in conversation, but you can see the wind sock as you drive by. They try to keep their lifestyle and property low key, to avoid attracting attention.
We got the best table in the restaurant. I suggested the name. They called for reservations. When we arrived, they were already seated. They got the large round table in the center of the room, underneath a massive chandelier! We have been coming every month for years and never got it!
Lesson: They have also been customers for years, but only come a couple of times a year. They simply asked for a round table when they made the reservation and they got it! It pays to ask.
Talking about travel – Close to home. We all live about two hours outside New York City. We head into New York for a weekend getaway once a quarter; they do it a couple of times a year.
Lesson: The wealthy always seem to be traveling. It’s a safe bet this will be an interest you share.
What's new on Broadway? It’s been said 67% of attendees at Broadway shows come from out of town or overseas. Since we don’t live in NYC anymore we are tourists like everyone else! They are interested in what shows are new, which ones are funny and which they might enjoy.
Lesson: We researched this ahead of time. The logic is selfish. When we next head into NYC, what shows would we like to see? FYI: I emailed them details afterwards.
How to get a good deal on tickets to Broadway shows. The wealthy stay that way by being careful how they spend their money. Everyone knows about TKTS, the booth at Times Square where you can get heavily discounted tickets to Broadway shows. The drawbacks are tickets are for same-day performances and the line is very long. We told them about the Theater Development Fund, an organization you can join that makes tickets available for several Broadway shows at about $60. The dates on offer often run about ten days into the future.
Lesson: Your HNW friends see a benefit of knowing you is how they can get the experience they want at a substantial discount. You are a resource, not simply someone who wants them as a resource.
Where can you get oysters in New York? Our friends are staying in Midtown. They expressed an interest in fresh oysters. Plenty of places carry them, but you want a selection.
Lesson: Background information helps. Although I was not prepared for this question, the Grand Central Oyster Bar is famous. I knew a couple of other places.
Lesson: Oysters are considered a luxury food. Knowing where to get them implies you enjoy the same treats as them.
Champagne and caviar at the Plaza Hotel. The husband remarked they have a tradition when they visit NYC. After checking into their hotel, they head over to The Plaza Hotel for champagne and caviar. (This must be at the Champagne Bar, according to the website.) I thought it was the Oak Room and Oak Bar, but my wife reminded me those spaces are available for rental, not open to the public.
Lesson: When they are proud of something, stop talking and give them a chance to tell their story. Telling favorite stories puts people in a good mood.
Bar hopping for the HNW crowd. Fortunately, we know our way around Midtown. They mentioned the King Cole Bar inside the St. Regis Hotel. In addition to the mural behind the bar, their claim to fame is the invention of the Bloody Mary. We talked about the reopening of the Waldorf Astoria and their Peacock Alley Bar. We talked about the Blue Box Cafe inside Tiffany and the Louis Vuitton Café inside their store in the adjacent building.
Lesson: This is a low(er) cost way of experiencing elegance. Most of these places have bar snack menus. We learned about this bar hopping strategy from other friends who do a circuit of luxury hotels in Paris, enjoying a grazing dinner. You know how to be elegant while controlling costs.
Our favorite restaurants. Everyone has them. You need to contribute something to the conversation. Benoit New York is an Alain Ducasse restaurant on West 55th Street. (Steps away from all these other places.) They get the level of Michelin recognition one step below the star level. They achieved an award from the Wine Spectator for their wine list. They do a price-fixed menu that is about $39 for two courses and $45 for three.
Lesson: Michelin is a magic word. It shows you have personal experience with the higher tier restaurants in the city. This is a credential you are part of their world.
Talking about nonprofits. Almost everyone in our social circle serves on a charity board or is a major donor to several causes. What happens at board meetings is confidential, but there is a lot of talk about what events are coming up.
Lesson: When you have become an insider in the nonprofit world, you get to know more and more of the right people. This sometimes leads to invitations to join another board.
Our reputation for extensive travel. One of our credentials in the local HNW community is we always seem to be overseas. We take a trip somewhere between six and eight times a year. Before the pandemic we visited China every four months. We try to include one or two Cunard cruises. We had returned from Slovenia a few days earlier when we met for dinner.
Lesson: Travel is a great bridge when building relationships within the HNW community. You can learn from them, which is useful for future travel. They can learn from you. The details you share about cities you have both visited serve as a credential you are telling the truth and not exaggerating.
Is admitting we fly coach a mistake? The jury in my mind is still out on this question. This couple (and almost every local HNW individual we meet) seems to travel in first class or business. I (tactfully) pointed out there is an entire other section called coach (which they call economy) that arrives at the same time.
Lesson: These friends know we are not in the same economic bracket as them. We explain we can afford to take multiple trips a year because we fly coach. This also serves to let them know we are not living beyond our means.
They flew on the Concorde twice. The Concorde stopped flying in 2003, so this is a dated story. One of our guests mentioned they flew twice without charge. They are fans of British Airways. This was in the days of point bonuses for credit card use. Their agent (or travel agent) let them know if they could charge a certain amount to a certain card, they would earn enough points for free flights on the Concorde.
Lesson: One lesson is obviously the wealthy enjoy getting good deals. I am sure they did not advertise these were free tickets. By listening I learned “This is the credit card we use to buy artwork for our collection, so that was no problem.” Now I know a little bit more about their outside interests.
Talking about airline lounges. If you travel, talk turns to airline lounges and the relative comforts. We heard about the Concorde Lounge, which still exists although the Concorde plane does not. This is for British Airways first-class passengers. Someone mentioned the Club Lounge for business class passengers “was pretty good when I am not flying first class.”
Lesson: We have learned how to play the “Lounge Game.” With American Airlines we have Platinum status. That is a mid-tier level. This gives us Sapphire status with the OneWorld Alliance. This allows free access to business class lounges at airlines like British Airways, Cathay Pacific and Quantas. At Heathrow Terminal 3, they are all adjacent to the American Airlines lounge. We can talk lounge quality with anyone.
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