The Scientific Way to Get Prospects to Like You

The consultant's "Solin Process" pivots largely on asking questions to elicit information and, at the same time, making prospects feel comfortable. This strategy lets them guide the conversation rather than the advisor controlling it.

"What neuroscience tells us is that people like people who empower them to talk about themselves," he says.

Solin, whose New York Times bestsellers include "The Smartest Sales Book You'll Ever Read" and "The Smartest Retirement Book You'll Ever Read," was a securities attorney for 35 years, including representing investors in FINRA arbitrations.

He became an advisor and, in 2003, opened an RIA. Solin's three-year stint at Buckingham Asset Management led to launching a multi-faceted consultancy.

In the interview, he discusses a new project: creating and marketing investing-themed T-shirts for advisors. Investing is "so nerdy," Solin shares. With these shirts, "I've tried to make [it] cool."

Here are excerpts from our conversation:

THINKADVISOR: Do these uncertain times warrant a new and different approach to converting prospects to clients?

DAN SOLIN: I don't think so. Neuroscience [shows that] people want to talk about themselves.

When a financial advisor [encourages] that, the prospect feels they're interested in them as a person, not as somebody who has an AUM on his forehead.

They want someone who understands them and cares about them as a person.

What they don't want is — and this is a trap most advisors fall into — the advisor who [comes on]: "I'm so great. You should hire me."

THINKADVISOR: How do advisors try to put that across?

SOLIN: An advisor has a lot of information about the technical aspects of investing and financial planning. So they feel they probably know more about everything and convey that intellectual arrogance. This is very counterproductive.

I spend a lot of time trying to get advisors to unlearn that. Nobody wants to be made to feel stupid.

If the client doesn't ask, "Tell me about your investment philosophy, your fees, what qualifies you," then they're not interested.

THINKADVISOR: What's another big mistake that advisors make?

SOLIN: Everyone is going to the whiteboard and lecturing.

But people don't like being lectured. So I tell advisors, "I want you to put all your agendas aside and just get to know the other person. Don't try to steer the conversation in any particular direction.

"Just talk, ask follow-up questions. Be the most interested, curious person in the room. Good things will happen from that."

THINKADVISOR: Why is it so important for a prospect to like the advisor from the get-go?

SOLIN: What very few people understand is the reason we hire pretty much anybody is because we like them. We rationalize that we've hired the best-qualified person. But decisions are emotional.

So the question becomes: When we're trying to convert a prospect to a client, how do we get them to like us? What neuroscience tells us is that people like people who empower them to talk about themselves. It all leads to that.

I tell advisors that when the prospect leaves your office, you want them to call their husband or wife and say: "I just met with 'X.' I want you to meet him. I like him. He really gets us."

THINKADVISOR: Tell me about The Solin Process.

SOLIN: It came from research and two books I wrote, primarily "Ask: How to Relate to Anyone." It's based on research that finds we really enjoy talking about ourselves.

If we can get people to do that, there's a chemical reaction that goes on in their brain where the prefrontal cortex lights up, and oxytocin [hormone triggering empathy and trust] floods the brain.

THINKADVISOR: You say advisors should be asking questions and eliciting information. I assume you don't recommend their having a list of questions in front of them when first meeting clients. Correct?

SOLIN: Right. Because I want the conversation to go where the prospect wants to go.

THINKADVISOR: And you say not to take notes during the first meeting. Why?

SOLIN: When people take notes, it impedes conversation. It changes the whole tenor of the meeting from "I just want to have a nice emotional connection with you and get to know you" to "This is a business meeting; so you should be careful about what you say."

If you want to make people really nervous, try: "Let me record our meeting."

THINKADVISOR: How does your system help advisors generate leads?

SOLIN: Raising people's profile tends to generate leads. Nobody is going to hire you unless they know you.

We do a variety of activities that we hope results in leads. These include all forms of [search engine optimization], AI, avatars, chatbots, videos.

THINKADVISOR: You talk to advisors about meditation. That's unusual in advisor coaching, is it not?

SOLIN: There are 600 studies on meditation. I believe that anybody who objectively reviews them would find it beneficial to meditate.

I find that meditation helps me stay focused, keeps me from catastrophizing, worrying and being anxious.

THINKADVISOR: Are all the clients you train RIAs? Any independents affiliated with broker-dealers?

SOLIN: They're all evidence-based RIAs. Broker-dealers aren't big fans of mine because I write books saying basically: Buy index funds, and you'll be fine.

THINKADVISOR: I imagine, then, that broker-dealers won't be buying your T-shirts. You've just introduced a line designed for advisors to wear and give to clients. Tell me about that.

SOLIN: I guess [BDs] probably won't because all my T-shirts illustrate: Buy index funds, and you'll be fine.

A lot of what the investing industry does is create problems, not solve them. I don't think investing gets more complicated than: Buy a total-market index fund and short-term Treasury bond fund, and you'll be fine.

THINKADVISOR: Why did you decide to sell T-shirts to advisors?

SOLIN: I've tried to make investing cool. It's so nerdy.

I've seen a tremendous trend recently toward dressing down. I definitely see it a lot with advisors, especially those that are trying to relate to the younger generation.